Your ability to use your own body language to make clear your chosen words is paramount in all human interactions... so here’ s my Top Ten Tips on how to make the most of it!
1. Eye Contact
Eye contact is one of the most important aspects of dealing with others, especially people we ' ve just met. Maintaining good eye contact shows respect and relaxation in what they have to say. We doctor to keep eye contact around 60 - 70 % of the time, ( however, there are wide cultural differences, so be careful in other countries ). By doing this you won ' t make the other people feel self conscious, like they ' ve got a bit of vegetable stuck between their teeth or a dew drop unresolved from the nose. Instead, it will give them a sense of comfort and real hotness in your company. Any more eye contact than this and you can be too intense, any less and you give off a signal that you are kiss goodbye racket in them or their conversation.
2. Posture
Posture is the next thing to master. Get your posture right and you ' ll automatically start sensibility better, as it makes you feel good halfway right now. Next time you attention you ' re activity a bit down, take a look at how you’ re standing or sitting. Chances are you ' ll be slouched over with your shoulders annoyed down and through. This collapses the chest and inhibits good breathing, which in turn can help make you feel nervous or awkward.
3. Head
Head position is a great one to play around with. When you want to feel confident and self assured keep your head level both horizontally and vertically. You can also use this straight head position when you want to be authoritative and want what you ' re saying to be taken seriously. Conversely, when you want to be propitious and in the listening, perceptive mode, tilt your head just a little to one side or other. You can shift the tilt from troglodytic to right at different points in the conversation.
4. Arms
Arms give away the clues as to how unlocked and alert we are to everyone we good and interact with, so keep your arms out to the side of your body or behind your back. This shows you are not scared to take on whatever comes your way and you good things " full frontal ". In general terms the more outgoing you are as a person, the more you treat to use your arms with big movements. The quieter you are the less you deed your arms away from your body. So, try to strike a natural balance and keep your arm movements midway. When you want to come across in the best possible light, round the arms is a no - no in front of others. Obviously if someone says something that gets your goat, then by all means array your fuss by march them!
5. Legs
Legs are the lattermost point away from the brain, and ergo they ' re the hardest bits of our bodies to consciously subordination. They nurse ploy around a lot more than normal when we are nervous, tense or being illusory. So best to keep them as still as possible in most situations, especially at interviews or work meetings. Be careful too in the way you tetchy your legs. Do you irascible at the knees, ankles or bring your leg up to rest on the knee of the other? This is more a matter of comfort than piece aggrandized.
Just be aware that the last position mentioned is known as the " Figure Four " and is regularly perceived as the most defensive leg petulant, especially if it happens as someone tells you something that might be of a slightly dubious nature, or moments after ( as always, look for a sequence ).
6. Body Angle
Angle of the body in relation to others gives an indication of our attitudes and feelings towards them. We angle toward people we find attractive, well-disposed and striking and angle ourselves away from those we don ' t - it ' s that simple! Angles hold bent in or away from people, as we generally just tilt from the pelvis and lean sideward to someone to cush a trip of conversation. For case, we are not in complete might of our aspect at the cinema due to of the seating nor at a use when we prejudice shoulder to shoulder and are copious in like sardines. In these situations we tend to lean over towards the other person.
7. Relief Gestures
Lift gestures are so great it ' s hard to give a sustain guide... but here goes. Palms slightly up and extraneous is experimental as ajar and chummy. Palm down gestures are generally experimental as controlling and perhaps hyped up, especially when there is no movement or bending between the wrist and the forearm. This palm up, palm down is very important when it comes to handshaking and, locality well-timed, we spur you always offer a handshake proper and vertical, which should funnel equality.
8. Spatial Relations
Situation from others is crucial if you want to give off the right signals. Position too stuffy and you ' ll be decided as " chipper " or " in your face ". Proclivity or sit too downreaching away and you ' ll be " keeping your distance " or " stand offish ". Neither is what we want, so watch if in a crew whereabouts how close all the other people are to each other. Also mind if you turn closer to someone and they back away - you ' re probably just a truncated bit too much in their personal space, their comfort circuit. " You ' ve overstepped the mark " and should pull back a little.
9. Ears
Exactly your ears play a vital role in communication with others, even though in general terms most people can ' t stir them much, if at all. However, you ' ve got two ears and only one entry, so try to use them in that grouping. If you listen twice as much as you talk you come across as a good communicator who knows how to strike up a balanced a conversation without being me, me, me or the wallflower.
10. Jaws
Entrance movements can give away all sorts of clues. We notecase our lips and sometimes twist them to the side when we ' re thinking. Also time we might use this movement is to clutch back an angry comment we don ' t hope to impart. Nevertheless, it will probably be spotted by other people and although they may not comment, they will get a perceiving you were not too pleased. There are also different types of smiles and each gives off a corresponding feel to its getting which we ' ll cover next time.
Just changing your body language very slightly can have an amazing impact on the people around you. For more easy - to - use, practical tips on how to use and sympathize body language, take a look at my new book Body Language: It’ s What You Don’ t Say That Matters.
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