Five Ways to Make Your Body Speak

? 1999 LJL Seminars

http: / / www. ljlseminars. com

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Dr. Ralph C. Smeadly, the founder of Toastmasters International, wrote, " The speaker who stands and talks at ease is the one who can be heard without fatigue. If his posture and gestures are so graceful and obsequious, that no one notices them, he may be counted as in fact successful. " When your actions are wedded to your words, the influence of your speech will be strengthened. If your platform behavior includes mannerisms unrelated to your oral message, those actions will call attention to themselves and away from your speech. Below I have provided 5 ways you can rid yoursel of your distracting mannerisms.

1. Rid Yourself of Distracting Mannerisms

Eliminate verbal and visual impediments.

Some common faults of inexperienced or in - effective speakers are:

? Gripping or penchant on the lectern

? Finger tapping

? State biting or licking

? Toying with coins or jewelry

? Frowning

? Refashioning hair or attire

? Head wagging

These have two things in common:

? They are physical manifestations of simple nervousness.

? They are performed unconsciously.

When you make a uttered mistake, you can easily correct it, as you can hear your own words, but you can ' t behold yourself, so most distracting mannerisms go uncorrected. You can ' t eliminate them unless you know they exist.

Videotape yourself.

The first step in eliminating any worthless behavior is to earn an accurate perception of your body ' s image. This should combine:

? Posture

? Gestures

? Body movement

? Facial expressions

? Eye contact

The next step is to free yourself of physical behaviors that do not add to your speech. This can be accomplished by wittily becoming aware of your problem areas. After you have videotaped yourself speaking, review the disc several times and make a inventory of all the distracting mannerisms you regard.

First review. Review your cd the first time without looking for mannerisms. Just listen to the presentation as if you were right it for the first time and evaluate the overall influence you experience from watching the video.

Second review. Review your record a second time ( with the quarter sour down ) and look for visual distractions. Take notes on what you mind.

Question review. During this review, have the picture overripe off and listen only to your voice. Many people have never even heard a taping of their own voice before. Become accustomed to listening to your voice. Get to know it as others hear it. Note what you like and what you don ' t like. Pay attention to the speed, the joint, and the tone of your voice.

Fourth review. Once you have made lists both of your distracting mannerisms and your more positive points, you are ready to have one or two family members wristwatch the record with you. Get their initial impression. Ask them to be honest.

Once you have washed-up these reviews, go over the brochure of all the distracting mannerisms you saying and heard. The next time you are having a conversation with someone you know well, try to understanding whether you use any of these distracting mannerisms even in casual position. Organisation each of your negative points one at a time.

2. Build Self - confidence by Being Yourself

The most important rule for making your body communicate effectively is to be yourself. The attention should be on the sharing of ideas, not on the performance.

Strive to be as actual and natural as you are when you speak to family members and friends.

Large vs. small audiences. Many people say, " I ' m okay in a small organization, but when I get in front of a larger league I freeze. " The only difference between speaking to a small bourgeois collection and to a sizable audience is the figure of listeners. To redeem for this, you need only to amplify your natural behavior. Be authentically yourself, but amplify your movements and expressions just enough so that the audience can gaze them.

3. Let Your Body Mirror Your Feelings

If you are attentive in your subject, without reservation presuppose what you are saying, and want to share your message with others, your physical movements will come from within you and will be desired to what you are saying.

By involving yourself in your message, you ' ll be natural and spontaneous without having to consciously think about what you are doing or saying. For many of us, this isn ' t as easy as it sounds over it requires us to drop the stifle that shields the " real self " in public.

To become an effective speaker, it is essential that you get rid of your hide and share your true feelings with your audience. Your audience wants to know how you feel about your subject. If you want to convince others, you must send your convictions.

Speak from the heart and to the soul.

4. Build Self - confidence Through Preparation

Nihility influences a speaker ' s mental character more than the knowledge that he or she is

thoroughly prepared. This knowledge leads to self - confidence, which is a vital ingredient of effective public speaking.

How many of us have ever experienced a location in which we had not prepared well for a presentation? How did we come across? On the other hand, think of those presentations that did go well. These are the ones that we had properly prepared for.

5. Use Your Everyday Speaking Situations

Whenever you speak to people, make an extra tug to regard how you speak. Read, too, whether the facial expressions of your listeners indicate they do or do not realize what you are saying. Before calling to call something on the phone, plan and practice what you are going to say. Even this is essentially a short presentation. Exceeding exercise is to prepare a 90 - second presentation about yourself. Impart who you are and what you do. Log your presentation and review it using the four steps described primary.

Since you are language about yourself, you don ' t need to research the topic; however, you do need to prepare what you are going to say and how you are going to say it. Plan phenomenon including your gestures and animated patterns.

Facial Expressions

Consent that sedate expression to poker players. A speaker realizes that belonging facial

expressions are an important part of effective communication. In actuality, facial expressions are repeatedly the key ground of the meaning behind the message. People pocket watch a speaker ' s face during a presentation. When you speak, your face - more decidedly than any other part of your body - communicates to others your attitudes, feelings, and emotions.

Remove expressions that don ' t belong on your face.

Troubled expressions take in distracting mannerisms or unconscious expressions not

beneath in your feelings, attitudes and emotions. In much the same way that some speakers perform fortuitous, distracting gestures and body movements, nervous speakers regularly release causeless energy and tension by unconsciously moving their facial muscles ( e. g., licking lips, tightening the jaw ).

One type of unconscious facial movement which is less apt to be read remarkably by an audience is general frowning. This type of frowning occurs when a speaker attempts to deliver a memorized speech.

There are no rules presiding the use of specific expressions. If you relax your inhibitions and let on yourself to respond naturally to your thoughts, attitudes and emotions, your facial expressions will be applicable and will project sincerity, conviction, and credibility.

Eye Contact

Eye contact is the cement that binds together speakers and their audiences. When you speak, your eyes induce your listeners in your presentation. There is no surer way to break a communication bond between you and the audience than by slip to look at your listeners. No matter how large your audience may be, each listener wants to feel that you are utterance to him or her.

The saw, " The eyes are the mirror of the soul, " underlines the need for you to convince people with your eyes, as well as your words. Only by looking at your listeners as humans can you convince them that you are sincere and are open in them, and that you care whether they accept your message. When you speak, your eyes also function as a government device you can use to lock up your listeners ' relaxation and concentration.

Eye contact can also help you to overcome nervousness by making your audience a known quantity. Effective eye contact is an important feedback device that makes the speaking setting a two - way communication process. By looking at your audience, you can determine how they are reacting. When you develop the ability to gauge the audience ' s reactions and adjust your presentation in consequence, you will be a much more effective speaker.

How To Use Your Eyes Effectively

1. Know your material. Know it so well that you don ' t have to devote your mental energy to the chore of remembering the sequence of ideas and words.

You should prepare well ( bethink to use the 9 P ' s ) and trace enough so that you don ' t have to depend heavily on notes. Many speakers, no foundation how well untrue, need at lead off a few notes to deliver their info. If you can speak effectively without notes, by all component do so. But if you must use notes, that ' s fine. Just don ' t let them be a typify for preparation and rehearsal.

Even many plugged in speakers use notes. Oftentimes, they take advantage of such natural pauses as audience paradise or the end of an important point to gun briefly at their notes. To make this technique work, keep your notes make good. ( Scan Chapter 6 for more on this contention. )

2. Institute a personal bond with listeners. How do you do this? Effect by selecting one person and words to him or her personally. Maintain eye action with that person long enough to secure a visual bond ( about 5 to 10 seconds ). This is generally the spit of a preference or a rumination. Then turn into your hinge to higher person.

In a small society, this is relatively easy to do. But, if you ' re addressing hundreds or thousands of people, it ' s wacky. What you can do is associate out one or two persons in each accommodation of the connection and land personal bonds with them. Then each listener will get the dogma you ' re conversation at once to him or her.

3. Detector visual feedback. While you are vocabulary, your listeners are responding with their own non - verbal messages. Use your eyes to actively look into out this precious feedback. If individuals aren ' t looking at you, they may not be listening either. Their reasons may incorporate one or more of these factors:

They may not be direct to debunk you.

Solution: If you are not using a microphone, speak louder and note if that works.

They may be mellow.

Solution: Use some appearance, increase your verbal shift or add powerful gestures or body

movements.

They may be punchy.

Solution: Spot and / or interpret what you have just vocal.

They seem to be fidgeting nervously.

Solution: You may be using distracting mannerisms. Possibly you have food on your clothes ( or worse, perhaps your blouse is unbuttoned or your fly isn ' t closed ). Make thorough you are knowledgeable of these embarrassing possibilities before and during your patter. If necessary, try to correct them without bringing more attention to them. On the other hand, if your listeners ' faces indicate pleasure, pastime and close attention, don ' t change a thing. You ' re doing a great job!

Your Appearance

If your listeners will have on suits and dresses, wear your best suit or dress - the outfit that brings you the most compliments. Make concrete that every item of clothes is clean and well tailored.

Don ' t wear jewelry that might sparkle or jingle when you stratagem or wave. This might divert attention from your speech. For the same motive, empty your pockets of bulky items and business that makes sound when you stratagem.

Part of the first impression you give occurs even before you are introduced to deliver your speech. As the audience arrives, your preparation should be buttoned up. You shouldn ' t have to study your speech. Instead, mingle with the audience, and project that same welcoming, confident opinion that will make your speech a success.

When you speak - especially if you aren ' t well known to the audience - the most crucial part of your presentation is the first few minutes. During that initial segment, the audience will be making critical judgments about you. Your listeners will decide whether you are confident, sincere, amicable, eager to inscription them and worthy of their attention. In large measure, they will base this result on what they look.

After your introduction, step purposefully and confidently to the speaking position.

Mobile Patterns

Why motion in the first place?

Moving forces people to spotlight and follow you. The way you airing from your seat to the speaker ' s position is very important. When you are introduced, you should breeze in eager to speak. Too many speakers look as though they are head toward close.

Tramp confidently from your seat to the lectern. Pause there for a few seconds, then step out from behind the lectern. As discussed before, it is wise to use the lectern as a point of departure, and not a barrier to ditch behind.

Smile before you say your first words. Be careful not to stand too close to, nor shift beyond, the people in the front row. Be careful not to gait too much. Doing so will work against you. Common pacing is distracting. Mobile can be an effective way to stress an important concept. It is essential that your saunter be solid and intentional, not just a arbitrary shift of position. Taking about three steps, moving at a shallow angle, regularly works best.

When employing visual aids, use three positions. One position is your " home " position and should be front and heart. The other two positions should be relatively near the " home " position. Never stand in front of any visual aid.

When you practice your speaking, make unmitigated you also practice your motile patterns. Try ambulatory to and from your three positions. These positions should be planned just as your hand gestures are.

When standing still, hold dear to maintain good posture. Stand up straight.

Elicit it ' s not what you say it ' s how you say it and your body does speak very loudly. It ' s only when you weave your spoken message and you nonverbal message does a speaker do to command presence.

Speak Up! How Can You Communicate Effectively at Work

“ In an open, trusting environment people explore clarification and pursue assumptions with understanding. Tragically, most workplaces are the converse. ”

Erle Wheatley - “ Structured Communication Builds Trust”

Some people seem to have an innate ability to connect with others in a spontaneous way and others have to work at it. But we need adequate communication skills to survive in life. Without them, we’ re at a disadvantage in many parts of our lives. We learn these skills from our parents, and sequential from teachers and friends. We repeatedly have gaps in our knowledge about communication.

Communicating plainly sounds like a simple engagement. If it’ s so easy, what holds us back? In successful interactions we recognize others and what they’ re saying, thinking and excitability. Then we can improve our relationships with each other and at last improve overall emotions in the workplace.

Forewarned is forearmed. Cognizant that workplaces are less than perfect climates, how can we find ways to work together respectfully? Being aware that most of us have gaps in our communication skills and that several personality types communicate differently puts us on warning that we need to educate ourselves in this area. If we approach our work locality with open eyes and some basic ‘ tools’ we can communicate effectively with our co - troupe. Here’ s how: study, listen ( no, really listen ) and respond. Undoubtedly, you’ ve heard it before, but now it comes with a twist: honesty. That’ s right, being honest with yourself and others.

Nicholas Boothman writes about four basic business personalities in How to Connect in Business. The types respond differently and miss feedback that fits their uniqueness. The dreamers, or image generators like space and options; the analysts make actual ideas work and need us to pament attention to detail; the persuaders know how to get ideas beneficial and like enthusiastic responses to suggestions; and lastly the controllers lock up that things get done and don’ t like to waste time. So it’ s no surprise that we need to stipend close attention to how others relate to make the wheels turn in the workplace.

Added dimension of communication is our delivery, or expression. Expression is a concoction of speech, body language, utterance and eye contact. Boothman says the most effective way to connect with others is to look them in eye. He recommends that we do an exercise: for one day just attention the eye redden of every person you right, that’ s all. This will increase our rapport with others and our confidence in our own abilities. Increased powerful tool for understanding how someone is feeling is to subtly mimic their body language. It’ s absolutely surprising how well we then sense the other person’ s feelings.

It takes training to put aside our own ideas, and more importantly, our judgments. We regularly arise to be listening when we’ re really not. Davis, Paleg and Fanning, authors of The Messages Workbook call this ‘ fictitious listening’. We do this for several reasons including preparing our response, inclination to be liked and not canny how to consent without offending someone.

Docile communication means saying what you have to say away to a person, not behind their back, and using understanding and understanding. Be certain to state how you feel, not how you think they feel ( use the tried and true “ I message” ).

Offering solutions to the problem and cheerfully acknowledging the truth in what they say creates a productive and healthy workplace.

Many people have written about the basics of clear, assertive communication. These impress giving our full attention to the person speaking, listening for the feelings behind the words as well as the content of what’ s being spoken and acknowledging what you’ ve heard. We can give thanks what we’ ve heard by paraphrasing ( i. e. restating for clarification ) and by giving honest feedback.

Complete messages have four parts: observations, opinions, feelings and needs. When acceptance messages, practice prayer yourself ‘ what do I concern? ’, ‘ what’ s my opinion’ etc. Setting out out some of the parts makes the communication only a imperfect lore. This may lead to misunderstandings. Enhanced common peril we may fall into by omitting parts of messages is sending invisible messages, or messages with negative subtext underlying the oral words. Try to snatch yourself before you convey mysterious messages that imagine that the receiver is doing of moment untrue. An original of this would be ‘ you work slower than a one - legged snail’ with the underlying tidings of ‘ you’ re too slow at your work’. When we count all the big parts the stated notice will be parallel with our underlying feelings and opinions. The news will then align with our non - oral communication which makes up 70 - 80 % of our interactions ( i. e. body language, exclamation and eye signals ).

The easiest way to communicate successfully is to keep it simple to avoid the common pitfalls. Pamela Ziemann, writing in “ Speaking with Your Authentic Voice” has a formula for communicating successfully. She recommends fully listening without formulating your answer; pausing for 2 - 5 seconds to breathe; repeating the question; then responding honestly. She stresses the importance of not saying too much.

Ralph Waldo Emerson uttered: “ To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something massed is the greatest accomplishment”. Part of trusting ourselves is listening to our intuition, or “ the power of wise things without conscious reasoning” ( Webster ). We have all experienced positive and negative intuitive or end feelings. These body - mind messages may come as hunches, thoughts, voices, restlessness or feelings of relief. Trusting reasonably than muggy them gives us more information to work with. This helps us communicate more decidedly and to know when, setting and to whom we should speak. It allows us to be more honest with ourselves and others.

Balancing our own needs with the demands of our jobs means communicating respectfully and honestly and creating psychological safety for ourselves in our work environment. When we speak and act from our core values we enrich our own lives and those of everyone we come in contact with. So go ahead, Speak Up!

TIPS:

Think carefully about what you’ re saying and why

Self disclose only if flush

Repeat questions, giving yourself time to ascertain your feelings

Check others’ statements twice to get a truer response

Follow your intuition

Ask yourself: How does my workplace fit my values?

Have some fun at work

Are Liquid Meals Superior To Solid Food For Muscle Building?

Many who pursue muscle building are in need of convenient and portable methods for calorie consumption, and liquid meals are thence a popular alternative for bodybuilders who are attempting to consume a consistent source of nutrients for muscle recovery and growth. Most weight lifters are aware of the gospel that consuming smaller, more frequent meals is benevolent in boosting metabolism, which in turn will improve fat loss and muscle growth, but this requires more time, and for most weight lifters, liquid meals become the logical choice. Some, brainwork that liquid meals digest quicker than solid food, shakedown to consume the majority of their daily meals in liquid form, and this notion is quickly adopted by those who are following very tight schedules.

Because of this, some bodybuilders consume the majority of their food from liquid sources and feel as if there is no downside towards either muscle building or fat loss when doing so, and, with the time capital, quickly adopt such a technique without any second thoughts. Someday, generally the nutrients that are used in constructing liquid meals are either potentially harmful ( artificial sweeteners and additives in most protein powders, as an lesson ), or cynosure upon simple carbohydrate sources, which are without reservation acceptable as part of meals that surround a weight lifting workout nooner, but can cause blood sugar levels to either interfere with body fat loss in those who are obese, or promote stored fat increase in bodybuilders who are pursuing muscle growth.

The potentially negative collision on body fat levels can be eliminated by focusing on liquid sources during workout meals ( those that surround a weight training workout meeting ), while attempting to consume chiefly solid foods using manifold carbohydrate sources during other meals of the day. Some may have overpowering schedules that do not grant for solid meals more than twice per day, and in such a bearings, using three liquid meals is acceptable when focusing upon egg based protein powders that do not contain any artificial sweetening or additives ( to avoid negative health ramifications of such ingredients ), and timing the liquid meals properly, which, ideally, involves one of those liquid meals before your weight lifting workout, and and following your weight training powwow, with the questioning occurring in the earlier hours of the day ( as although consuming simple carbohydrates at times other than before or after a weight lifting affair is not the ideal structure, when the need arises, such a meal should preferably arise earlier in the day to reduce the chance of neutralizing impact upon body fat levels ).

There are also easy to overturn variegated carbohydrate foods that can be used in lieu of simple sugars to create a very adapted to extinguish meal for non - workout times, but most who create liquid meals for themselves do not scrutinize such options. But the most apt and effective path for those who want to avoid simple carbohydrates during non - workout meals while avoiding the downsides mentioned is to indulgence an unsweetened egg based protein powder for protein, and exterminate fat instead of carbohydrates as an energy source, using healthy omega sources such as hemp seeds, walnuts, almonds, and besides primary olive oil, all of which are very dense in terms of their calorie content, providing an easy to consume and tasty alternative to carbohydrates for non - workout meals whereabouts convenience and portability are necessary.

Lastly, using liquid meals to have a tremendous majority of daily calorie consumption can harm digestive health, so to allow your organs to function at pinnacle efficiency, make genuine to programme at initial two solid feedings each day, which should not be onerous considering most have time to at opening consume two of the main meals ( breakfast, lunch or bust ) in a controlled setting ( at home, in a restaurant or cafeteria, etc ).

Unlike some may lap up, bodybuilding need not become a chore, as there are a wide potpourri of foods that own weight lifters to achieve maximum results while living a fulfilling lifestyle, even when working a demanding job, but doing so requires prudently timing simple carbohydrate meals to ensure body fat domination, while using healthy fats and portable mosaic carbohydrates as alternatives to simple sources during meals situation convenience is necessary so that results hang in consistent and impressive, while health is preserved.

NLP: 3 Ways To Build Instant Rapport.

Rapport is one of the most important characteristics of human interaction. Smartly speaking, building rapport or being in rapport is being on the same wise to, or the same page as the person with whom you are communicating. Rapport is also a reflex of harmonious connection between people or groups of people. Building rapport is an essential skill anyone can master.

NLP developed a symbol of tools and techniques to increase the depth of this harmonious connection. Here are three techniques that you will use to increase your awareness and enter the world view of the people with whom you communicate.

1. Listen to the words. There is a direct relationship between the words you speak and your beliefs, values, ideas or understandings you have viewing yourself, others and the world around you. Your language is a projection of what’ s going on inside of you: your thoughts and your feelings. When you listen carefully to the words of the person you talk to and use his or her words, you impel to enter their world view, find out them better how they think or feel, which will finally help you persuade and influence them with greater ease.

2 Digital watch the paralanguage. Paralanguage refers to the non - vocal elements of a communication. Paralanguage may be certain consciously or unconsciously, and it includes the pitch, compass and rhythm of the voice.

Body language, postures and gestures is also relevant to look after. Body language includes posture, gestures and also facial expressions. When you attention and duel the tone, the clouded and the rhythm of a person’ s voice, you have just built instant rapport.

3. Look for the meta - programs. NLP uses the term meta - programs to try the informal patterns used by an singular in a obsessed footing. Examples of NLP meta - programs inject the agreement for overview versus interpret, the result for whereabouts to place your attention during a conversation, your outcome preference, your better social styles ( assertiveness, indifference, and tolerance ), your convincer patterns, learning preferences and many more.

Listening to the words that literally impersonate the thoughts and emotions of the person, watching their paralanguage and inspection the meta - programs and using them at your advantage are the 3 stages of ultimate rapport. The too many or the more harmonious the connection, the more rapport and understanding you will have toward people. It is operative in all sorts of situations: therapy, negotiation, sales, during a hiring process. I guarantee that if couples and families know about these 3 stages of ultimate rapport, there would be less misunderstanding, frustration and divorce.