Clarissa Pinkola Estes, the author of " Women Who Run with Wolves ", has a awesome disc on the life of the spirit called " The Red Shoes " ( available through www. soundstrue. com ). Estes, a Jungian analyst and Latina Cantodera ( story teller ) knows that the soul can never be shook. There is a violet edge to the Soul that regenerates, no matter what the pain or neglect. But the Spirit is different. The Spirit can be hurt. In some tribes in Africa, children are not to be moved or humiliated whereas the spirit will permit their body and run for days into the woods spot it must then be chased and begged and cajoled to come back into the child’ s body.
This loss of Spirit is a bound thing. There are several ways this can happen in our world. The first is to be over disciplined and over socialized from an early age, before words or animated. Supplementary is to be taught one point of view only, and that, a trivial one, so that however you define yourself, however hard you try, you will never seem to fit. I think this has happened to most of the introverts in the initial degree categories, the categories situation we are just 1 % or 2 % of the general riffraff.
We do not ever hear the world described in a way that makes sense to us. We never hear our natural way of being extolled. Our ordinary pastimes and interests are not blessed. Our needs are not implicit and our reactions are not sanctioned. And so, all too recurrently, our Spirit leaves our bodies.
This is what happens when we hear, midpoint every day it seems, that there is something off-target with us, sometimes something exceptionally not right. We are not loving enough, we spend too much time alone, we are never going to be successful this way, we read too much, what is erring with us, we have no friends, we are not invited over, we aren’ t dating, we don’ t want to blend the sorority, we don’ t network, we sneak away from office parties as momentarily as we can, we make a disabled excuse not to go at all, and so it continues….
There is an invisible, assumed criterion which we can never applicable. We create to think WE are wide. We devalue our inner convictions. We mistake our ability to stand alone against the world for a weakness, somewhat than a great strength. We fail to dignity our rich inner worlds, our ability to turn information into knowledge, our need to listen and hear and fully comprehend before we speak. We apologize for our inability ability to “ communicate” never cerebration that we formulate beautifully, listen elegantly and have learned to disavow small talk due to it is not communicating. We sneak in or apologize for our favorite, soul fulfilling activities, the ones the introverts on my website mention over and over again, the intensely precious daydreaming, listening to music, writing in journals, thinking ( “ thinking is a pastime, too! ” one introvert wrote me by much ) or moving, cycling … playing with a pet.
What happened to us as children when we failed to happy every single criterion called “ normal”? What happened to us when our natural preferences - - things like staring out the window, sitting at the computer, playing with imaginary friends, collecting stamps or writing in a diary – were ridiculed and despised?
This is stressful and our self esteem suffers. I get scholarship every day from introverts who say they never felt “ ok” before.
In codification to pillar your introverted child or the recovery process in yourself if you are an introvert who tried for two, three or four heartbreaking decades to be something you’ re not, let’ s look closely and with concern at the four introvert categories with the pioneer people in them. These are the children who get practically no reinforcement for their world view and their way of being unless they are lucky enough to have a origin in one of these groups as well.
Having your ground of being denied like this is stressful. It is my observation that most introverts have been under constant stress from teens and some even have the behavior of post traumatic shock syndrome, are depressed, or have the illnesses connected with stretch stress such as chronic fatigue, irritable bowel syndrome or fibromyalgia. Let’ s look at how each of the four introvert groups react to stress, what stresses them and how we might author or re - root these children ( and ourselves ) successfully.
The four groups are:
INTJ – the Mastermind 2 % of the men in the world and 1 % of the women
INTP – the Architect, 2 % of the men in the world and 1 % of the women
INFJ – the Lead, 1 % of the men in the world and 2 % of the women
INFP – the Healer, 1 % of the men in the world and 2 % of the women
The other four introvert categories have 5 - 6 % of the hoi polloi each: ISTJ 6 % ( Quarterback ), ISTP 5 % ( Crafter ), ISFJ 6 % ( Supporter ) AND ISFP 5 % ( Composer ). If you’ d like more information abut these types, tarriance www. keirsey. com. For proportion of all types, including extroverts, call HERE.
INTJ THE MASTERMIND
INTJ Masterminds, being reasoning, are thinkers. When under stress they may become argumentative and disagreeable. Social interaction, never a forte, now becomes almost impossible. When under stress, they may also issue gripping about their ideas which become increasingly negative and onerous to direction. They may have derogatory thoughts about themselves, leading to feelings of worthlessness, mistake and public shame, all of which inhibit them from taking further risks to achieve the success they want and need.
The INTJ, Mastermind, reacts to stress in several different ways. One way is to eat, drink or exercise to lavish. INTJs can also act impulsively and express their emotions in an intense and unacquired style. 2 % of men and 1 % of women in this world are INTJ Masterminds.
An for instance: INTJs are concerned only with things they think are powerful. If you ask them to do something that doesn’ t matter to them, you may gawk all their finest qualities go flying out the window. If it is something forceful they are working on themselves, a strong INTJ preference, and you make a suggestion, they may seem inflexible and stubborn. This is because they don’ t automatically respect the way others think. They may act in anti - social ways and become emotionally unsteady if pressure continues. As a final act of test, they may destroy the project or refuse to last with it and certainly not “ in public”. This indicates their confidence has been eroded by gripping inner criticism. Successive on these are the people who fail to perform some of the routine necessities of life through they don’ t feel these things are important enough to warrant their attention. i. e., representation the deck each spring, filing their income tax on time.
In girlhood terms, your INTJ child may value building with legos but is not stirred in learning how to set the cheer. Further, he or she wants to build with the legos according to an inner schematic which is paramount whether or not it is acceptable or even functional by exterior standards. This is how they learn to become “ masterminds”. It’ s their way or no way. So ( 1 ) green light them alone and ( 2 ) let them learn by experimenting. Your comments are neither embrace nor heeded. Your detached appreciation is tolerated!
Ways in which an INTJ’ s reality is routinely denied:
* INTJs don’ t dig your concern that they have friends or learn social skills - - people are important to the them only in terms of their usefulness for a project
* INTJs will not note it if you present them with a way that requires losing a battle to win a strife - - yielding things of significance matters to INTJs, not necessarily doing what is practical nor do they particularly value “ winning”
* INTJs will resist a process of instruction which requires copying others or doing it “ like this” as that offends a core value ( “ did you read the technique? ” is uncalled-for – no they didn’ t’ and they aren’ t going to! ) - - INTJs ofttimes have initial minds and great inner drive to produce or create from a place of authenticity
Successful INTJ Masterminds from history count Stephen Hawking, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Sir Isaac Newton and Peter the Great.
INTP THE ARCHITECT
The second type of introvert we are discussing today is the INTP, the Architect. This type, representing 2 % of men and 1 % of women, is capable of valid intense negative emotions towards others when under stress.
INTPs have sharp minds and excellent critical ability which, unfortunately, they turn on themselves under stress. They can become fussy and engrossed with details. This is turn can lead to extreme sensitivity bearings criticism, fear of blunder and feelings of powerlessness are concerned. If stress continues, their minds may freeze up thoroughly, leading to stage fright, writer’ s block and other ways of inhibiting the flow of their normally superior rumination concepts and major average language ability.
An ideal: Most INTP children can’ t stand up for themselves verbally under stress. They become “ frozen” and their own muteness adds to feelings of rage and impotence. Next on these are the people who can’ t finish their PhDs or fit deadlines.
In virginity terms, your child’ s behavior may be interrupted at sharpen as disrespectful. At inculcate children are expected to answer when uttered to, even when attacked.
Your child needs your lining in understanding how impossible this may be and how foul the suspicion of disrespect owing to the battle is an inner one not a social one. On a more personal level, you will earn the endless gratitude and loyalty of an INTP child if you are the one in their presence who allows them their silence with unspoken commiseration.
Ways in which their reality is denied:
* encouraging INTPs to wax their interests is incompetent and annoying – bull's eye is one of the great outlook of this type of introvert and all introverts
* requiring INTPs to follow - through is unusable - - they are theorizers – they like to do things in their head and subsequent on will excel at this while others are on assignment for follow through ( think of a structural advocate or a product design pilot )
* telling an INTP to “ alleviate up” is cruel – they are aroused critical of their own performance and it’ s no use trying to convince them not configuration needs to be virtuoso
Successful INTP Architects from history comprise Albert Einstein and Charles Darwin, Abraham Lincoln and Socrates.
INFJ THE Bird dog
The interrogation type of introvert we will look at is the INFJ Guide. This type can eat, drink and exercise to accidental, become critical and imperfection finding and operate in very materialistic and tight ways when under stress. They are also capable of slack ethics and morality under stress. This is not normally regular of them and is a dead pittance that they are miserably destroyed. INFJs make up 1 % of men and 2 % of women in the world.
This type is particularly naked to hurt feelings. If their close personal relationships fail, they may be literally devastated, more so than any other type. If stress continues, they feel “ unreal”, fragmented and disassociated. They split off from their physical bodies and suffer paralysis due to suppressed feelings. Physical symptoms can be real or imaginary.
An quotation: An INFJ type shows his or her feelings this day. These are the children ( and adults ) whose faces adumbrate cipher. If the INFJ child misinterprets something you’ ve oral and feels left, they will impel a process of disassociating from their physical body. Sometimes it looks like they are standing dead still while their face fills up with color and their eyes start to float. At this point they are authentic to push down their feelings and it’ s taking all their concentration. If you press on to press your point, they may shriek at you, “ Liberty me alone” or “ Get away” being their fluency is blocked to any other form of self mirroring. What they are really inquiry for is a “ break” or “ let up”. They will need to go off by themselves and process or eruct when they are older and may return for a word when they’ ve neglectful themselves.
Brood over that introverts do partly zippo well in the presence of others, particularly under aggravation, so let on them the privacy and break to augment themselves. This includes a relief of their own with a door that closes. These are the people who succeeding on may exalt to work own but want to eventually lucre their work product with a harmonious audience. They rejoice in and can conceive long periods of different time doing surface survey, writing, editing process out and so forth. Artists passable this company as well.
Try to avoid criticizing their work if possible. They feel like they ARE their work so they will take it personally and may feel devastated. INFJs are among the most people - oriented of all types.
Ways in which their reality is denied
* don’ t lift the need for developing independence – INFJs are prohibitively recherche and contributive by nature and exalt to achieve harmony with others while much raise to create lone
* espousing “ win any way you can, but win” or separation the world up into “ winners” and “ losers” does your INFJ a disservice - - they have firm goods and an unique want to heel the common good
* forcing them to be clear about all their projects - - like all “ Ns” they can materialize to execute impulsively without thinking things through and may be quixotic as to the end but that is not what matters to them … what matters to them is that they are in the process of doing decisive that is weighty to them
Successful INFJ Counselors from recital are Eleanor Roosevelt, Carl Jung, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Mohandas Gandhi and Goethe.
INFP THE HEALER
The fourth type of introvert in the virgin adolescence sort is the INFP, the Healer. Healers make up just 1 % of men and 2 % of women on the planet.
Healers under stress can do things to unessential, like the other types – eating, drinking and exercise. In adjunct they can become audacious and bossy and are persuasive of ignoring others’ feelings when under anxiety.
The worst bounteous of nuisance for the INFP is to be in a station locale their ethics melee with a relationship. In other words, when their crave to please others, even surrender for others, is variant to their need for integrity, they suffer. Under this lenient of trouble, INFPs drive to feel “ unreal”. They may lose their place in time and good fortune. Never very inspired in the physical world, surroundings or reign, if stress continues, the INFP may lose the ability to make simple observations and choices or to be present in any comprehensible sense of the word.
INFPs can also become restless and utopian when under stress. Sometimes it is hard for them to know when they should vacate and turn to something heavier.
An standard: INFP children seldom care about physical reality, surroundings or reign. Owing to of this they may misplace personal property, leave country lying out, scuff or deface furniture, mess up affair dress, etc. These things don’ t even get on their radar veil. However, they have affirmative learned that these things are important to you and therein lies the conflict and it is a severe and reinforcement one.
Let’ s say they can’ t find something and think they might have bummed out it at implant or in the car on the way home. Normally they’ d cease a second and then movement on to something farther. Their love for you, however, says go look for it and act like you really care. Since they aren’ t plugged into physical reality, the search for the item quickly becomes stressful. They don’ t really care about finding it, so they don’ t do a good job of looking ( and they never will ). This results in greater stress, self - criticism and conflict. Eventually the world spins and they stand still. When asked a direct debate about the matter, they answer something abstract and seemingly unrelated. These are all clues that your INFP child is in inner turmoil and utterly miserable. These are the people who succeeding on buy loud umbrellas so when they concession them on the plane or in the cab on the way home, it doesn’ t matter.
Ways in which their reality is denied:
* forcing them to take rigid care of their field - - the physical world is not important to INFPs, thereupon they may lose sphere, break or impair objects and not ever remark – if you try to beat this awareness into them, it will only convince them there is something overly false with them, for they can rarely improve - - instead glorification their values and don’ t bother buying them lots of “ stuff”, particularly not appreciated or priceless stuff (! ) as they could care less
* cautioning them to be wary and prudent by extrovert standards - they happily identify with others and behold the best in them – this is an oft gullible category of folks but thereupon they will maintain and with their gullibility comes some understanding of eternal protection for these are the people who love all living creatures
* criticizing them from a place of apparent authority - - they live in an ideal world, others may not ever equitable their standards; further, they may fail to fit their own standards … by the time an exterior authority criticizes them as well, it is dangerous
Successful INFP Healers from history embrace Princess Diana, Isabel Myers, Shakespeare, Homer and the Virgin Mary.
CONCLUSION
As you can scope, the four head groups of introverts, INTJ Masterminds, INTP Architects, INFJ Counselors and INFP Healers can experience frustration in trying to apt the demands of a world set up by and for others. Type categories are based on Jungian psychology and the way to win in the Jungian model is not to try and become something you aren’ t, but somewhat to become more consciously that which you are.
You can foundation your introverted child by learning more about the way they naturally approach the world. Don’ t try to change him or her into an extrovert. This is the ultimate stressor. It can lead to long term loss of Spirit, low self esteem, depression and health conditions associated with long term stress. Some of the signs to digital watch for have been indicated for each type: excessive eating, drinking or exercise, besetting self criticism and perfectionism, titillation “ unreal” or “ lost” in time and space, disassociating from the body, speechless paralysis and cries for help such as “ get away” or “ allowance me alone”.
COAXING BACK THE SPIRIT
How can we coax the spirit back into these bodies? By becoming informed about introvert qualities and making clear-cut they are endorsed and receive in the human family. The first chop qualities of introverted children are: territoriality, needing to wait and timer from the sidelines before joining in, concentrating on one thing or person at a time, thinking before speaking. For a look at introverts’ favorite bygone times, eye my survey results at www. theintrovertzcoach. com / playsurveyresults. html.
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